Becoming comfortable in my own skin!
Hey y'all! 
I took them home and layed them on the bed... Where they stayed for a day or so! Finally I talked myself into putting them on and going for a walk.... Let's just say that was one tearful walk! I got back from my walk and went to my room where I cried for a while! This cry was more a proud of myself/I can't believe I did that cry! I shocked myself a few days later by having the guts to go back and buy 2 more pairs of shorts! I was determined to not let these shorts get the best of me! A few weeks later I surprised myself again and bought a really cute romper that I would ultimately wear to the Ole Miss Football home opener(More on that in a little bit!).
The drive to Oxford was a rough one! My legs were shaking SO bad and at one point I even started to tear up a little bit! As we were walking into The Grove I totally wanted to turn around and run and hide! It was taking everything I had to hold back the tears y'all! But then as I was about to meltdown, my best friends dad(One of my fave Mississippi men I might add!) came up to me, put his arm around my shoulder and whispered "I'm so proud of you! You got this! You look AWESOME!""Now go rock that outfit!"! That was all I needed to hear! After that I relaxed and as the day went on I found myself getting more and more confident! I ended the day having received numerous compliments about my outfit, but even more important I ended the day with a confidence I didn't even know I had in me! Over the past year I have become even more confident being exactly who God made me to be. Spending this summer in Indiana has definitely been the final boost I needed! I have bough and worn dressy shorts for the first time since I was little and I have bought and worn a few cute sundresses too! The biggest thing I have accomplished this summer is being able to say "God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I'm proud of myself!" And actually believe it with my whole heart! I am Kelley. I have Spina Bifida and I AM BEAUTIFUL!
"I AM Spina Bifida BEAUTIFUL!" that is a sentence that has taken me 33yrs to finally be confident enough to say. If you follow this blog or follow me on Facebook you know I have been on another journey besides my #WalkinwithKelley journey this past year! A journey to FINALLY be comfortable in my own skin, a journey to no longer hide the one thing that has made me who I am and tells the story of the struggles I have had to overcome to be the woman I am today... My braces and scars!
Now yes when I was a baby and early on in Elementary School I PROUDLY showed off my braces wearing shorts and cute dresses. I had different color braces and proudly showed them to everyone! Y'all I even had a set of braces that had a pattern to look like jeans! At that point I was the cute, spunky little brunette that would talk to everyone... Sadly that changed around the time I entered Jr. High. Around 6th grade was when I started noticing the stares,the whispers and the "mean girls".
At first I tried to not let it bother me. "Their just curious!" is what my momma has always told me and for a while it worked! But slowly I started to see myself wearing jeans more and going for the long skirts and dresses... Anything that would hide my my braces and scars from everyone! Honestly I think another thing that always made me self conscious was the fact that I that time I was having to buy clothes in the kids section! And back in the late 90's to early 2000's kids clothes were definitely not as stylish as they are now!
To be honest I have spent much of the past 33yrs wishing I could look like all the "normal"/popular girls! I was never the blonde bombshell with the long legs or the brunette who was totally comfortable walking around in shorts or a bathing suit.. I was the 4'10 brunette with the short stubby legs that walked funny! At least that's how I saw myself! I was the girl who would try on the shorts and cute sundresses but would never buy them! I have always worn jeans,leggings or sweats.... Even in the middle of summer! Which can get pretty MISERABLE!
One day I was at Target and spotted a rack of really cute shorts. I had a friend with me who said to me "You NEED to buy a pair or 2 of those shorts!"! We walked on by them and walked around the store for a little bit longer but somehow ended back up at that same rack of shorts... After ALOT of back and forth(and some MAJOR coaching!) I finally went for it and bought 2 pairs of shorts!
I took them home and layed them on the bed... Where they stayed for a day or so! Finally I talked myself into putting them on and going for a walk.... Let's just say that was one tearful walk! I got back from my walk and went to my room where I cried for a while! This cry was more a proud of myself/I can't believe I did that cry! I shocked myself a few days later by having the guts to go back and buy 2 more pairs of shorts! I was determined to not let these shorts get the best of me! A few weeks later I surprised myself again and bought a really cute romper that I would ultimately wear to the Ole Miss Football home opener(More on that in a little bit!).
My first BIG breakthrough with showing off my braces came when I wore shorts to walk in my very first 5K! Not only did I have anxiety about walking in front of ALL those people, I also had the anxiety of all of them seeing my braces! The morning of the 5K finally came and y'all my anxiety was in OVERDRIVE! I had to do everything I could to keep myself from crying while I waited for the girls I was walking with to arrive! But all that stress melted away when the girls got there and we started chatting and walking! I may have been the last person to finish the 5K but I finished with proud! Not only was I proud of myself for completing the 5K, I was even more proud of myself for facing my fear and showing off my braces!
My next big moment was wearing a romper to the 2017 Ole Miss football home opener! Y'all getting as I was getting around that morning I had SO much anxiety again! I even changed out of my romper a few times! Thankfully I was able to get myself back in it and even took a pic!
The drive to Oxford was a rough one! My legs were shaking SO bad and at one point I even started to tear up a little bit! As we were walking into The Grove I totally wanted to turn around and run and hide! It was taking everything I had to hold back the tears y'all! But then as I was about to meltdown, my best friends dad(One of my fave Mississippi men I might add!) came up to me, put his arm around my shoulder and whispered "I'm so proud of you! You got this! You look AWESOME!""Now go rock that outfit!"! That was all I needed to hear! After that I relaxed and as the day went on I found myself getting more and more confident! I ended the day having received numerous compliments about my outfit, but even more important I ended the day with a confidence I didn't even know I had in me! Over the past year I have become even more confident being exactly who God made me to be. Spending this summer in Indiana has definitely been the final boost I needed! I have bough and worn dressy shorts for the first time since I was little and I have bought and worn a few cute sundresses too! The biggest thing I have accomplished this summer is being able to say "God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I'm proud of myself!" And actually believe it with my whole heart! I am Kelley. I have Spina Bifida and I AM BEAUTIFUL!
❤️Hugs💙
Kelley
Comments
Post a Comment